Snippets of conversation

These are some of the things that Ollie has said to us since being diagnosed, and being re-fed at home. Warning: not for the easily offended. Or for those of a sensitive disposition. 

********************************

Since I've had anorexia, I've stopped dreaming at night. 

Why does my life have to be like this?

Why does it get harder every day?

I'm never going to get better. I'm never going to be normal. I'm never going to see my friends again, or play football again. 

Why are you hurting me? Can't you see you're hurting me? Why don't you care?

I'm sorry anorexia, I'm so sorry for what I've done. I'm evil. Food is evil. 

I'm worthless. 

Why do you love me? No-one should love me. 

Please just let me die. I don't want to live if life is like this. 

I just want to wake up from this nightmare. 

Anorexia is right. The doctors are wrong. They took everything from me. Anorexia loves me. I love you anorexia. 

I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning. 

I just can't understand how I can ever get better. 

No shit Sherlock, you fucking mong (in response to my husband saying "we can see it's hard for you"). 

The medicine (food) doesn't work. It makes me feel worse. 

I'm a fat pig. I shouldn't have eaten. I've done the wrong thing. 

I fucking hate you (to both my husband, and to me). 

I wish you weren't my mum. 

I hate everyone. I want to kill everyone. 

Why? Why do I have this? What did I do? 

Fuck off you perv (when we have to keep an eye on him if he goes to the toilet after a meal). Just fucking leave me alone. 

I hate my life. 

I thought being in hospital for a week was bad. Then I had a week at home, and that was worse. Then I went to GOSH, and that was even worse. But today is the worst day of all.